Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...