hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.