How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
