the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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