FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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