Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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