you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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