Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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