Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
