I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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