and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
