Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
