The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
