you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My balls are so social today.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize