i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
