he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
