well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
