brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
nutella sex= disaster
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
