to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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