yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
