That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
