Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize