come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
