No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
