i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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