Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ttyl tear gas
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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