If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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