You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
