What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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