also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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