We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
