She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
