i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
