am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
