we're blogging at a bar
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The adults are the big ones right?
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