Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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