R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
