if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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