i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize