; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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