What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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