Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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