I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
