I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
