I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize