we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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