im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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