i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
