Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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