dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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