you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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