Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
