Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
