The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was like getting head from an anaconda
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
