No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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