so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize