i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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