Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
