SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You made out with two different species that night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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