If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
