gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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